Expectations in dating
If you think I'm joking, talk to the men out there.In an animated discussion with a male friend last week, I was told in no uncertain terms that, "Man not into the chase for no long time anymore because it's not hard to get a woman anymore, is run me have to run from woman these days".The challenge is to examine why you feel entitled to a perfect 10 when everyone – including you – is blessed with imperfections. Visualizing the utopian mate may actually help you discover what you are looking for in a relationship.To have a discerning eye is logical, but don’t get wrapped up in the concept of impossible bedtime stories. On the other hand, it’s important to recognize that perfection doesn’t exist outside of your psyche.In a sense, expectations are the flipside of obligations; if someone has an obligation towards you, you usually have an expectation that that obligation will be fulfilled.Again, this is similar to rights language in moral or legal philosophy; if Bob has a firm duty towards Barbara, then Barbara has a right (or claim) to have that duty fulfilled.Right will blind you to the challenges that all marriages and relationships must overcome.This expectation leads to a level of passivity that can be damaging to your relationship.
Impractical expectations can cause dissention and resentment in existing relationships and ultimately curb your opportunities for new ones.You couldn’t date a woman who has children or you wouldn’t consider a divorced man.